Meeting friends used to be easy(ish): elementary school, you hang with whoever's in your class; middle/high school, every girl for herself; college based on interests, but everyone's desperate for friends; early career/grad school: people with the same goals or jobs (I've found those to be hit or miss... luckily I had some great hits). No one ever told me that, in my late 20s, as a wife and new mom, I'd be exceptionally lonely. (Don't feel badly for me. This is all past tense. At 31, life is better.)
Rewind to 2009. From the outside, I'm sure I appeared very well adjusted. Two small kids, great husband, nice life in the town I was raised, social personality. "She probably has loads of friends. She knows everyone." But inside our little yellow house, this was not the case: I was early to the game on marriage and kids, sooo... My high school/college friends were scattered around the world doing terribly interesting things AND all of my children's peers' parents were a few years older than me, and, while that wasn't an issue for me at all, I somehow felt it might be for them. I remember saying to my husband, "I'm lucky to have met a few, wonderful women in my life and to consider them friends. Maybe that's all I get." Which sounded fine. But when he would go off to soccer or Frisbee or basketball or to hang with his buddies, I knew it kind of sucked. Since I was insecure and totally unwilling to reach out and find new friends, I was sort of my own worst enemy.
In the four years since, a few things happened:
- A dear friend moved home (Hallelujah!)
- I changed jobs and met a lifelong friend
- I went out on a limb. I started calling and "mom dating " my daughter's friend's mom and... she's amazing. I started running and inviting my then neighbor... she's great. I broke the past high school mold of immediately resenting aforementioned friend #1's other friends and getting to know them... they're great. I reached out to women who are local that I "knew" before but never bothered knowing, and am so happy I did.
